Tag Archives: Don Draper

You Can’t Have Everything…



Interesting word.

It SOUNDS all-inclusive, doesn’t it?

Someone should explain that to the people at Loft.


I think the actual meaning of the word “everything” is lost on those people at Loft.

Though I guess “50% Off ALMOST Everything” makes somewhat less compelling copy.  Don Draper would never approve of that.

This is just one example.  The frequent use of such imprecise language (or shall I say complete misuse of what used to be precise language) has caused others to resort to, what we call in our family, “over-precision”  — the use of too many words to say what one word could (used to?) say.  Actually, over-precision is when you correct someone who is not exactly wrong, but yet not precisely right, just for the pleasure of correcting them.  For example, if someone says “I LOVE  cake” and someone else (their brother or sister perhaps) says “You don’t LOVE cake.  You LIKE cake.  You don’t want to marry cake, do you?”  This sort of over-precision (usually proceeded by the words “Well, actually…”) is very irritating, and clearly a topic for a different post.

Well, actually, by their use of the word “Everything” to mean “NOT Everything” those Loft people and their kind have forced a very enthusiastic, emphatic kind of  advertising (I really, really mean it) like these e-mails:

J.Crew Factory <jcrew@e.jcrew.com>

Subject: Bye, March! Extra 30% off absolutely everything


And this…

J.Crew Factory <jcrew@e.jcrew.com>

Subject: Hello, April: extra 30% off every single thing


Thank you for your clear, over-precise language, J. Crew.


However, I am still looking for an asterisk somewhere (*Excluding all regularly priced, sale priced or any other items currently for sale.)

Oh well.


In the words of Steven Wright….You can’t have everything.
Where would you put it.




Remember that commercial for Heinz ketchup?  An-ti-ci-pa-a-tion.    Sometimes I think the best time is when you are looking forward to something you think will be great.

This is a list of things I am looking forward to, with great an-ti-ci–pa-a-tion;

  • Katy Perry Concert

My daughter and I are going to see Katy Perry.  We are going because my daughter loves Katy Perry.

The secret is that I also love Katy Perry.  This may be inappropriate for my age.

The concert may also be inappropriate for my daughter’s age.  I plan to hum loudly in my daughter’s ear to drown out all questionable lyrics. (Who am I kidding?  She knows most of them by heart already.  Mercifully, she does not understand them yet.)  I also plan to distract her by pointing out things about back-up dancers (“Look how cute her shoes are!”) in case Katy does anything inappropriate on stage.

I’m not sure what my daughter will do to address my age inappropriateness.  Probably she will tell me to sit down and stop dancing.

  • The Help

I LOVED this book.  I am hoping to LOVE this movie.  Not only is it about an incredibly important time of change in this country, but it also has a red-headed heroine.  I am exceedingly fond of a red-headed heroine.

The Help opened August 10, and I already have my GNO to see it on tap.

  • One Day

This feature film, which is tag-lined as “Twenty Years, Two People, One Day”, opens August 19.  The film is based upon a novel of the same name and stars Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess.

I haven’t read the book, and don’t know too much about the film other than what I have seen in the trailers, but I am looking forward to it for several reasons.  They are:

1.  It takes place in England.  Usually this alone is enough to make a film worthwhile for me.

2.  It is one of those “same people through the years” movies.  I have reached a point in life where these are nearly always relatable because I have usually been through all of the stages already.

3.  It stars Jim Surgess.   He was in the Other Bolyen Girl and Across the Universe, two admittedly sub-par movies, but I found him strangely compelling as Jude.

4.  It is directed by Lone Sherfig, who directed An Education, a film I really love.  I must not have been alone, because that film was nominated for a Best Picture Oscar a few years ago.  If you haven’t seen An Education, go find it.  Carey Mulligan delivers a wonderful performance.  I may have also loved An Education because of the script by Nick Hornby.  I have yet to come across anything he has done with which I haven’t felt connected.  But I digress…back to the list.

5.  The soundtrack includes new music by Elvis Costello and the Imposters.  Elvis and I go way back.  In fact, I am wearing my Goodbye Cruel World tour t-shirt as I write this.  Well, not really, but I could be, because I do own one and still sleep in it every so often when I am feeling particularly sexy.  Anyway, any new Elvis, especially plus The Imposters, is a big plus plus (have I said “plus” enough?).

  • Modern Family

I enjoy my time with the Dunphy’s and the Prichett’s every Wednesday, even in reruns, but I am ready for more.  I don’t know anyone who doesn’t share my love for this family! I love Gloria, Phil, Jay, Cam, and Manny.  I love them all!  Well, we can all get more soon — the new season premieres on September 21.

  • Dexter

The new season of Dexter begins airing on Showtime on October 2.  I can hardly wait to see what Dexter gets up to next.  I am completely addicted to this mix of horror and comedy, involving a serial killer/blood spatter expert with a strict moral code.  There is really nothing else like it.  Also, for some reason I really enjoy watching real-life  soon to be ex-husband and wife Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter play brother and sister on-screen.  How complicated is that relationship?

  • Anonymous

I had never heard of this movie until I saw the poster in a theater lobby the other day.  Does my interest really need to be explained?  If so, let me just add that this film stars Vanessa Redgrave as Queen Elizabeth, Joely Richardson as Young Queen Elizabeth, and Rhys Ifans as the Earl of Oxford.    And the website includes phrases like “The Virgin Queen” and “the Privy Council.”  This is about all it takes for me.  This film opens October 28.

  • MadMen

This probably needs no explanation either.  Don Draper.  The Sixties.  A kid named Sally.  Cocktails.  Cool clothes.  It is new and old at the same time.  You don’t know where it is going.

But you’ve been there, from a different vantage.  My parents’ kitchen looked just like Betty Draper’s.  Ok, that won’t be in the new season.  God knows what year it will be.  But that is part of the an-ti-ci-pa-a-tion.  And who knows, maybe Sterling, Cooper, Draper & Pryce will get the Heinz account.

The new season is currently set to start airing in March 2012.

This is not an all-inclusive list, by any means.  These are just the things I keep thinking about.  That anticipation.  It’s makin’ me wait, it’s keepin’ me wa-a-a-it-in’.

I really hope it doesn’t all stink.