Everything.

Interesting word.

It SOUNDS all-inclusive, doesn’t it?

Someone should explain that to the people at Loft.

Though I guess “50% Off ALMOST Everything” makes somewhat less compelling copy.  Don Draper would never approve of that.

This is just one example.  The frequent use of such imprecise language (or shall I say complete misuse of what used to be precise language) has caused others to resort to, what we call in our family, “over-precision”  — the use of too many words to say what one word could (used to?) say.  Actually, over-precision is when you correct someone who is not exactly wrong, but yet not precisely right, just for the pleasure of correcting them.  For example, if someone says “I LOVE  cake” and someone else (their brother or sister perhaps) says “You don’t LOVE cake.  You LIKE cake.  You don’t want to marry cake, do you?”  This sort of over-precision (usually proceeded by the words “Well, actually…”) is very irritating, and clearly a topic for a different post.

Well, actually, by their use of the word “Everything” to mean “NOT Everything” those Loft people and their kind have forced a very enthusiastic, emphatic kind of  advertising (I really, really mean it) like these e-mails:

From: J.Crew Factory <jcrew@e.jcrew.com>

Subject: Bye, March! Extra 30% off absolutely everything

 

And this…

From: J.Crew Factory <jcrew@e.jcrew.com>

Subject: Hello, April: extra 30% off every single thing

 

Thank you for your clear, over-precise language, J. Crew.

 

However, I am still looking for an asterisk somewhere (*Excluding all regularly priced, sale priced or any other items currently for sale.)

 
Oh well.

 

In the words of Steven Wright….You can’t have everything.
Where would you put it.

 
Sally