Category Archives: Entertainment

You Can’t Have Everything…

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Everything.

Interesting word.

It SOUNDS all-inclusive, doesn’t it?

Someone should explain that to the people at Loft.

FOR LOFT INSIDERS ONLY STARTS NOW NOON–7PM afternoon delight<br /><br /><br />50% OFF EVERYTHING* EXCLUDES JEANS IN STORES ONLY WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3

I think the actual meaning of the word “everything” is lost on those people at Loft.

Though I guess “50% Off ALMOST Everything” makes somewhat less compelling copy.  Don Draper would never approve of that.

This is just one example.  The frequent use of such imprecise language (or shall I say complete misuse of what used to be precise language) has caused others to resort to, what we call in our family, “over-precision”  — the use of too many words to say what one word could (used to?) say.  Actually, over-precision is when you correct someone who is not exactly wrong, but yet not precisely right, just for the pleasure of correcting them.  For example, if someone says “I LOVE  cake” and someone else (their brother or sister perhaps) says “You don’t LOVE cake.  You LIKE cake.  You don’t want to marry cake, do you?”  This sort of over-precision (usually proceeded by the words “Well, actually…”) is very irritating, and clearly a topic for a different post.

Well, actually, by their use of the word “Everything” to mean “NOT Everything” those Loft people and their kind have forced a very enthusiastic, emphatic kind of  advertising (I really, really mean it) like these e-mails:


From: 
J.Crew Factory <jcrew@e.jcrew.com>

Subject: Bye, March! Extra 30% off absolutely everything

 

And this…


From:
J.Crew Factory <jcrew@e.jcrew.com>

Subject: Hello, April: extra 30% off every single thing

 

Thank you for your clear, over-precise language, J. Crew.

 

However, I am still looking for an asterisk somewhere (*Excluding all regularly priced, sale priced or any other items currently for sale.)

 
Oh well.

 

In the words of Steven Wright….You can’t have everything.
Where would you put it.

 
Sally

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Live Long And Prosper

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For Richer, For…Richer.

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I have a lot going on this weekend.  My stepson is going back to college.  My other son has baseball practice.  I am going to see The Help with the girls.  I’m pretty busy.

That’s why I can’t make it to the Kim Kardashian/Kris Humphries wedding on Saturday.  The American Royal Wedding.

 

Well, that and the fact that I wasn’t invited.


It’s too bad, really.  Imagine what the favors will be like.


When the bride has a $2 million, 20.5 carat engagement ring, they have to at least give the wedding guests a cute little Prius or a pony or something.  Or maybe a pair of Louboutins each.  All bearing the initials of the bride and groom, of course.  I hate to miss that.

I really may be in the minority, though.  It sounds like almost everyone is invited.    Ryan Seacrest and Kathy Lee are both invited and going, as are Lara Spencer from Good Morning America and Katie Couric.  Kelly Ripa and The Donald are invited, but not  going.  Tareq and Michaele Salahi, the White House party crashers are not invited, but purportedly are going anyway.


That’s ok.  I really have been looking forward to seeing The Help.


Kidding aside, however, there is something deeply distasteful about this over-the-top display of conspicuous consumption.  This is especially true at this moment in time that can be described, at very least, as economically uncertain.  Let’s just say I have friends and acquaintances who have quite literally lost their homes and spend sleepless nights worrying about how they will make it through the month. This storyline is repeated all over the country.  Millions on a party for two people?  Just doesn’t seem right.


Sure, every bride dreams of the beautiful ring, the gorgeous dress and the great party.  And, sure, most of us spend more on that particular party than reason and practicality support.  But it is estimated that this wedding (Kim’s second, by the way) will top $10 million.  Ten million dollars.  $10,000,000.  Holy crap.


That’s at least $12 million, between the ring and the wedding.  I decided to look at $12 million.  How long would it take the average person (who actually does something valuable for a living, say) to earn $12 million in salary?


  • If you made $50,000 a year (as a teacher, for example), it would take you 240 YEARS to earn $12 million.  Only 40 of those years would be spent earning the $2 million that Kim’s ring cost.
  • If you doubled your salary and made $100,000 a year, it would only take you 120 YEARS to earn $12 million.  20 years for the ring.
  • If you doubled your salary again and made $200,000 a year, it would only take you 60 YEARS to earn $12 million.  Only 10 years for the ring.
  • If you had a job making $12 an hour and worked 40 hours a week, 52 weeks a year, it would take you just over 480 and 3/4 YEARS to earn $12 million.  Only 80 of those years would be spent to buy the ring.

This would all be before you paid taxes and social security etc.  And of course, you couldn’t spend a single penny.  For 480 years.


I hope they have fun.


I have nothing against Kim Kardashian.  She is clearly quite beautiful.  And famous.  Famous for …what?  Famous for being on tv, for having a graphic “leaked” sex tape, for posing nude in Playboy, for being on Dancing with the Stars, for suing an actress who has the nerve to resemble her, for having a big butt.



Oh, I see.  She is famous for being famous.  And now, because of her extravagant wedding (which will no doubt be the subject of some sort of television special and countless magazine spreads), the American Royal Wedding, for Pete’s sake, she will be even MORE FAMOUS.


And with fame comes … more money.


So by spending the equivalent of the gross national product of a small country on a second wedding (resulting in a marriage that, statistically speaking, doesn’t have a ghost of a chance of lasting more than five years), Kim and Kris (don’t get me started about professional athletes) will become even richer.


The worst part of the whole thing, though, is this:  WE MAKE IT ALL HAPPEN.  We create the false celebrity because we simply cannot look away.  We cannot help being manipulated by the reality tv producers who package their “stars” and script their “lives” so that they do things and face situations that we are drawn to, like junkies drawn to heroin.


The very worst part?  I am as guilty, if not more, than anyone.  I eat it all up and ask for seconds.  I talk about “what idiots” these reality stars are, and how tacky, and how dysfunctional.  What complete losers!  Thank goodness I know what is really important in life!   Aren’t I lucky to live a normal life and to have my priorities straight?  Aren’t I just soooo much better than them?  Then I set the DVR to record the next episode.


By the way, I have a big butt.  It’s never earned me a dime.


Sally

Anticipation, Part Deux

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I said the list wasn’t all-inclusive.  I couldn’t sleep last night because I kept thinking of other things I was eagerly anticipating.  Please note, there is a high degree of certitude  that some of these things will not live up to their potential.  That is why I must enjoy the anticipation while is lasts.

“As Daddy said, life is 95% anticipation.”
Gloria Swanson

More things I am looking forward to with great anticipation:

  • Two and 1/2 Men 

I have not been a regular follower of this show, but what person on the planet didn’t watch Charlie Sheen’s more than public psychotic break from reality.  Now they have to kill him off on the show and replace him with Ashton Kutcher.  Kutcher definitely has the comedic chops (and fan base) to more than replace Sheen.  And like a train wreck, one just cannot look away from the whole debacle.  I’m not sure how this one will turn out, but two things are certain.  It won’t go well for someone, and Charlie Sheen will have something to say about it.  The new season premieres on Monday, September 19.

  • Glee

 

I admit it.  I am a big-time Gleek.  It really is the most fun show around.  Sarcasm and musical theater.  It is a brilliant combination.  Then when you factor in the best list of guest stars on TV plus the all to familiar angst of high school, well, it is irresistible.   This season, some of the original students move along, and new ones join the cast.  This is a great way to keep things fresh.  Thank goodness for tenure, though.  Sue Sylvester won’t be going anywhere.  The third season premieres on Tuesday, September 20.

  • Boardwalk Empire 

This HBO series starts its second season on September 25.  If you haven’t seen it, watch the first season first.  Steve Buscemi, a favorite of mine since his Fargo days, stars as Enoch “Nuchy” Johnson.  Johnson was a real-life powerful political figure in Prohibition Era Atlantic City.  You really want to see Nuchy’s character unfold.

 The first episode of the first season of this rich and complicated series was directed by Martin Scorsese, and he continues as an executive producer, along with several of the minds behind The Sopranos.  You can really see and feel the contributions from these corners throughout the series.  Think a cross between Gangs of New York, the Godfather and The Sopranos.  Nuchy, not unlike Tony Soprano, is a complicated and endlessly interesting character and Buscemi was born to play him.

The series is set in a fascinating period of our history, and throughout you see the effects of Prohibition on the rise of organized crime.  I especially enjoy seeing appearances made by real life characters like Al Capone and Lucky Luciano, but at periods in their lives that we know less about.  Don’t miss this one.

  • I Don’t Know How She Does It 

This movie is based upon a novel of the same name by Allison Pearson.  I really enjoyed the novel, especially as I read it while I was still juggling a law practice and a family with small kids.  The movie stars Sarah Jessica Parker as a successful power mom who struggles to balance it all.

The buzz is that SJP plays Carrie Bradshaw, working mother.  I like Carrie.  I loved Sex in the City (the series).  Carrie on film has been more problematic, however.  And SJP on film — don’t get me started.  This may be one of those that I don’t like because it doesn’t meet its potential.  Or I could just love it because SJP wears cute shoes.  It opens in limited release on September 16.

  • The Way

This film was directed by Emilio Estevez and stars his father,  Martin Sheen.  Sheen plays a California doctor who travels to France due to the death of his son while hiking The Way Of St. James, a traditional course of pilgrimage through the French and Spanish Pyrenees.  Driven by his grief and desire to connect with his dead son, Sheen’s character undertakes the pilgrimage himself.  Along the way, he encounters other pilgrims with other motivations.

Ok, this film is either really boring, or just incredible.  Martin Sheen is a talented actor, but can at times be a bit self-indulgent.  Either way, I am really looking forward to breathtaking scenery of France and Spain.  The Way opens on October 7.

  • The Ides Of March

Also opening on October 7,  in limited release, is this political thriller, directed by George Clooney.  Clooney also stars.  My explanation could stop right there, but listen to the rest of this cast: Ryan Gosling, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Paul Giamatti, Marisa Tomei, Evan Rachel Wood.  I just don’t know how this film can go wrong.  I will watch almost any movie in which either Hoffman or Giamatti appear, just to see them.  The plot involves a young communications director (Gosling) for a presidential candidate (Clooney) that comes across information that might compromise the candidate’s campaign.  The film is based upon a play by Beau Willimon.

  • J. Edgar

Clint Eastwood directs this film about long time director of the FBI, J. Edgar Hoover.  Leonardo DiCaprio stars as Hoover, one of the most intriguing characters in modern US history.  Hoover was the first director of the FBI and remained in that position for nearly 40 years.  Hoover is now notorious for his willingness to use his power to target those he saw as dissenters, often bending the law over backwards in the process.  His private life has also been the source of much speculation, both due to his likely homosexuality, as well as titillating rumors that he was a cross-dresser, among other things.  There is already Oscar buzz surrounding DiCaprio’s turn in this juicy historical role.

Judi Dench also appears as Hoover’s over protective mother, Anne Marie.  She also makes every film  she appears in worth watching.

J. Edgar opens on November 9.

Well, these should keep me busy.  Oh, and I haven’s even made it to December yet!  Do I sense an “Anticipation, Part Trois” coming on?  You bet!

In the meantime, I would like to hear what YOU are anticipating in the entertainment arena.   I would like to have other suggestions in mind, just in case everything I am looking forward to turns out to suck.

And I would really like to know what Gloria Swanson was doing the other 5% of the time.

Sally

Anticipation

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Remember that commercial for Heinz ketchup?  An-ti-ci-pa-a-tion.    Sometimes I think the best time is when you are looking forward to something you think will be great.

This is a list of things I am looking forward to, with great an-ti-ci–pa-a-tion;

  • Katy Perry Concert

My daughter and I are going to see Katy Perry.  We are going because my daughter loves Katy Perry.

The secret is that I also love Katy Perry.  This may be inappropriate for my age.

The concert may also be inappropriate for my daughter’s age.  I plan to hum loudly in my daughter’s ear to drown out all questionable lyrics. (Who am I kidding?  She knows most of them by heart already.  Mercifully, she does not understand them yet.)  I also plan to distract her by pointing out things about back-up dancers (“Look how cute her shoes are!”) in case Katy does anything inappropriate on stage.

I’m not sure what my daughter will do to address my age inappropriateness.  Probably she will tell me to sit down and stop dancing.

  • The Help

I LOVED this book.  I am hoping to LOVE this movie.  Not only is it about an incredibly important time of change in this country, but it also has a red-headed heroine.  I am exceedingly fond of a red-headed heroine.

The Help opened August 10, and I already have my GNO to see it on tap.

  • One Day

This feature film, which is tag-lined as “Twenty Years, Two People, One Day”, opens August 19.  The film is based upon a novel of the same name and stars Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess.

I haven’t read the book, and don’t know too much about the film other than what I have seen in the trailers, but I am looking forward to it for several reasons.  They are:

1.  It takes place in England.  Usually this alone is enough to make a film worthwhile for me.

2.  It is one of those “same people through the years” movies.  I have reached a point in life where these are nearly always relatable because I have usually been through all of the stages already.

3.  It stars Jim Surgess.   He was in the Other Bolyen Girl and Across the Universe, two admittedly sub-par movies, but I found him strangely compelling as Jude.

4.  It is directed by Lone Sherfig, who directed An Education, a film I really love.  I must not have been alone, because that film was nominated for a Best Picture Oscar a few years ago.  If you haven’t seen An Education, go find it.  Carey Mulligan delivers a wonderful performance.  I may have also loved An Education because of the script by Nick Hornby.  I have yet to come across anything he has done with which I haven’t felt connected.  But I digress…back to the list.

5.  The soundtrack includes new music by Elvis Costello and the Imposters.  Elvis and I go way back.  In fact, I am wearing my Goodbye Cruel World tour t-shirt as I write this.  Well, not really, but I could be, because I do own one and still sleep in it every so often when I am feeling particularly sexy.  Anyway, any new Elvis, especially plus The Imposters, is a big plus plus (have I said “plus” enough?).

  • Modern Family

I enjoy my time with the Dunphy’s and the Prichett’s every Wednesday, even in reruns, but I am ready for more.  I don’t know anyone who doesn’t share my love for this family! I love Gloria, Phil, Jay, Cam, and Manny.  I love them all!  Well, we can all get more soon — the new season premieres on September 21.

  • Dexter

The new season of Dexter begins airing on Showtime on October 2.  I can hardly wait to see what Dexter gets up to next.  I am completely addicted to this mix of horror and comedy, involving a serial killer/blood spatter expert with a strict moral code.  There is really nothing else like it.  Also, for some reason I really enjoy watching real-life  soon to be ex-husband and wife Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter play brother and sister on-screen.  How complicated is that relationship?

  • Anonymous


I had never heard of this movie until I saw the poster in a theater lobby the other day.  Does my interest really need to be explained?  If so, let me just add that this film stars Vanessa Redgrave as Queen Elizabeth, Joely Richardson as Young Queen Elizabeth, and Rhys Ifans as the Earl of Oxford.    And the website includes phrases like “The Virgin Queen” and “the Privy Council.”  This is about all it takes for me.  This film opens October 28.

  • MadMen

This probably needs no explanation either.  Don Draper.  The Sixties.  A kid named Sally.  Cocktails.  Cool clothes.  It is new and old at the same time.  You don’t know where it is going.

But you’ve been there, from a different vantage.  My parents’ kitchen looked just like Betty Draper’s.  Ok, that won’t be in the new season.  God knows what year it will be.  But that is part of the an-ti-ci-pa-a-tion.  And who knows, maybe Sterling, Cooper, Draper & Pryce will get the Heinz account.

The new season is currently set to start airing in March 2012.

This is not an all-inclusive list, by any means.  These are just the things I keep thinking about.  That anticipation.  It’s makin’ me wait, it’s keepin’ me wa-a-a-it-in’.

I really hope it doesn’t all stink.

Sally

Something Borrowed, Something Blue

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Mama Mia! Here I Go Again…

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